We use feedback when we want to reinforce or alter a behavior to benefit the individual and those around them.
Receiving consistent, constructive is the best way for individuals to learn and grow personally and professionally. But even with such substantial benefits, giving and receiving effective feedback isn’t always easy. If everyone was comfortable with receiving feedback, it would be much easier to give it. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. It can be challenging to address behavioral issues or tell someone where they went wrong.
It’s also a challenge to receive critical feedback without feeling like you’re being judged or put down or defensive. And there are other pitfalls. Feedback that doesn’t offer a constructive critique isn’t useful. Gratuitous positive feedback makes both the giver and the recipient feel like they’re caught up in a “mutual admiration” loop, and nothing ever changes. Sometimes that kind of endless ego-stroking doesn’t feel honest or genuine because we all know we have room for growth. (Note: We’re not talking about recognizing true accomplishments. Real improvements and beneficial changes should always be acknowledged and celebrated.)
Here are some things to consider and plan for when giving constructive feedback.
Things to Consider Before a Feedback Session:
• Successful feedback increases an individual’s insight and learning tremendously.
• All human beings have blind spots that can limit their potential.
• The most helpful kind of feedback is specific.
• Feedback sessions are most effective when geared toward finding a remedy and not just pointing out a fault.
• Do you have all the information relevant to the situation?
• For feedback to be effective, there must be an essential trust in one another.
• Comments need to be honest, but the dignity of the individual receiving them must have top consideration.
Things to Plan before a Feedback Session:
• Know your constructive purpose in giving this feedback.
• What are the specific actions that you want to correct?
• What were the results or consequences of those actions?
• What were your reactions to those actions (how did you feel)?
• What are your expectations going forward?
The Process of Giving Feedback (using the “I” Message Model as your guide):
• State the constructive purpose of your feedback.
• As specifically as possible, describe what you observed.
• Describe what you felt as a result of your observations.
• Explain how you interpreted the behavior.
• Give the person the opportunity to respond.
• Provide specific expectations.
• Summarize and express your support.
The “I” Message Model:
• The purpose of meeting with you to give feedback is ___________________________________
(Give the constructive purpose of your feedback)
• When you _____________________________________________________________________,
(Describe specifically the behavior you observed)
• I feel _________________________________________________________________________,
(Describe your emotions—how you felt)
• Because I interpret your actions to mean ____________________________________________.
(Describe how you interpreted their actions)
• Is my interpretation correct?
(Give the person an opportunity to respond)
• In the future ___________________________________________________________________.
(Explain the needed changes—offer specifics and obtain agreement)
• So, to summarize ________________________________________________________________
(Summarize your discussion, review any agreements and express support)
Perhaps the most critical factors in delivering effective feedback are accuracy, trust, honesty and compassion.
• Ensure that you have the information you need to accurately address your concerns. Having your facts wrong can derail even the most well-intentioned feedback session. Accurate information also reinforces the recipient’s ability to trust the intent behind the feedback.
• Another facet of trust is the rapport you’ve built with the recipient. Unless it’s an emergency (Like, “Don’t stick your hand in that machine!”), offering feedback to someone you don’t know and who doesn’t know you will make it much more challenging to be effective. If you want feedback to be more conversational and less confrontational, building relationships is essential.
• With established rapport and accurate information, sharing feedback calmly and honestly will allow the individual to accept feedback more easily.
• You can lower the temperature of any constructive feedback session by letting the recipient know that you’re there to help them solve the issue. You’re giving them feedback because you care – about them, about the team, about the work. The purpose of the feedback is to drive success, not punishment.
Setting and mindset are also crucial to successful feedback. The setting includes when and where you give feedback. Again, unless it’s an emergency, don’t call people out in front of others. Once you’ve prepared your feedback, schedule a private time and place to deliver your message. It’s counter-productive to give feedback while you’re angry or frustrated. You always want to provide timely feedback, but that doesn’t necessarily mean immediately. Don’t wait for months, but take the time to get into a place where you can have a calm, compassionate conversation.
Following these guidelines will ensure that your feedback is well-thought-out and well-delivered, with a much better chance of being well-received.
